


Diet Mountain Dew (Phan)

by midnightskydan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Abuse, Abused Dan, Angst, Daddy Kink, Fluff, M/M, Neko Dan, Punk Phil, References to Drugs, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2018-08-29 02:50:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8472616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightskydan/pseuds/midnightskydan
Summary: Phil Lester is a bad boy, living as a runaway in New York City. He’s mooching off his girlfriend when he finds a poor abandoned neko in an alley.“You’re no good for me. Baby you’re no good for me. You’re no good for me. But baby I want you, want you”His life changes drastically now that he has a small, anxious, kitten to care for.





	1. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Diet Mountain Dew, Baby New York City_

 

Dan shivered as he curled up beside the dumpster, trying to block as much rain as he could. Tears steadily streamed down his cheeks, mixing with the cold raindrops. All he had were the clothes he wore, a simple t-shirt and jeans. He had his tail wrapped around himself, trying to retain warmth, but his tail was soaked by now.

"Whatever, Phil, you got the stuff?" a deep male voice asked, and Dan heard two sets of footsteps walk around the corner in the rain.

"Listen...I just, a need a little more time, my usual guy he got buste—" The man cut himself off with a low cry. The other man had punched him.

"Lester. I could crush you in a  _second_ ," the man with the apparent upper hand hissed. He pushed the other man down. He landed in a puddle beside Dan, splashing him.

"You better be back here tomorrow, and you better not be empty handed." The man snapped before walking off.

Dan skittishly peeked up at him. He wore a jean jacket with a hood, and black jeans. Dan could also see that he had snakebites beneath the hood.

This "Phil" sighed and gathered himself, sitting against the wall. He appeared to notice Dan for the first time.

"Whoa, hey there," he mumbled, turning to the soaked boy. Dan noticed his English accent. "Look at you, you poor thing. How long have you been out here?" he spoke softly, surprising Dan. He didn't look the type to sympathize.

Dan stared at him with wide eyes.

He stood up, offering Dan a hand. "Come here, kitten, my girlfriend'll love you," Phil offered, excitedly.

Dan was hesitant. This boy had been in a dark alley in the rain, probably dealing drugs. Dan didn't want to get into another bad situation.

Phil crouched down in front of the kitten. "Hey kitten, I wanna get you out of this rain, yeah? You look like you're freezing. You can come home with me if you want," he spoke gently.

Dan tried at a small smile and nodded a little. Phil smiled and helped the boy up. Dan wrapped his tail around his torso, shivering like crazy.

"Here kitten," Phil spoke softly, pulling off his jacket and draping it over Dan's shoulders.

Dan smiled, pulling it tightly around himself. Phil hailed a cab and they climbed into it. Phil smiled sadly over at Dan, offering his arms as a second sort of coat. The poor thing was shivering so bad. Dan hesitantly leaned into him.

"What's your name, love?" Phil asked softly.

"I'm D-Dan." Dan spoke quietly.

He smirked. "I like that. Suits you." He noticed Dan's British accent. "Are you English? What are you doing in New York?"

Dan pouted, looking away. "Wh-why was th-that m-man y-yelling at you?" Dan asked softly, changing the subject.

Phil let go of Dan. Dan sat up, looking towards him questioningly.

"That's none of your business," he mumbled.

Dan was surprised by the sudden change from kindly to brash, but he  _had_  overstepped himself a bit. He couldn't get kicked out of another place. He'd be fucked.

"S-sorry," Dan mumbled.

"No, it's alright. I just—well anyways here we are." He put on a small smile as the cab pulled over.

Phil took Dan's hand and led him quickly through the rain and into the rundown apartment building. He led Dan up the stairs and into an equally rundown apartment. It was only a few rooms. There was a living area connected to a kitchen as the main room, and there was, what Dan saw to be a bathroom through the door, between two other rooms. Dan paused, ear twitching when he heard a low grunt followed by a higher pitched moan.

"Abby, love?" Phil called.

" _Shit_." Dan heard a woman's voice mumble. "Um just a second!" She called back from behind a closed door.

Phil furrowed his brow, walking toward the bedroom. He opened the door, eyes widening as he watched his girlfriend try to get her clothes back on while a man gracefully climbed out the fire escape.

"Abby?" Phil asked, stomach, dropping.

"Phil, look, I...I'm sorry it's just..." she noticed Dan. "What's that?" she asked, frowning.

Dan peeked into the room, standing behind Phil.

Phil looked back at Dan. "It's...it's a neko, he's cute I thought you'd like him. What the hell is going on here Abs?" Phil rambled, throat closing up.

Dan looked down, wanting nothing more to just disappear. This was typical for him. He'd always get thrown into an already dysfunctional home, only to make things worse.

The girl sighed, pushing her auburn hair from her eyes. "Phil I can't do this anymore okay? I've been seeing this guy behind your back, alright. That's the honest truth. I just... I can't provide for you anymore, Phil, I can't. I can't do this I'm sorry," Abby spoke, and then she was following after the man, down the fire escape.

Phil walked into the room. "Wait Abs! What the hell?! What am I supposed to do with this thing?" he demanded, motioning to Dan and stepping out onto the fire escape, watching his girlfriend run off.

"Damn it!" he shouted, slamming the window shut and walking back inside. Dan stayed put in the doorway, watching with wide eyes.

"Damn it!" Phil shouted again, punching the middle of the wall. And again. On the third time, the plaster broke around his fist and he breathed heavily.

Dan whimpered quietly at the sound of the plaster breaking. Phil turned to him and scowled. "Get out," he murmured, embarrassed. He didn't need Dan to see this, when he'd promised the damn thing a good home.

Dan's ears went down and he walked back out of the apartment. Well that was his new record. He only lasted a few minutes. Bad things just tended to happen around Dan. He was bad luck.

He walked into the rather gross bathroom in the lobby and tried to dry off a little with the terrible hand dryers. Realizing he still had Phil's coat, he walked upstairs to return it.

Dan set the jean coat just outside the door before walking off again.

"Dan? Dan? Shit, where'd you go kitty?" Dan could hear Phil call softly through his thin walled apartment, clicking his tongue and snapping his fingers as if Dan were an actual kitten. Of course, this worked as Dan immediately wanted to return to Phil's side. He furrowed his brow, listening.

Phil opened the front door, looking down to see the jacket and looking up to see Dan leaving. "Dan, hey, what're you doing?" he asked, as if his mood had completely reverted to before he caught his girlfriend cheating.

Dan sniffed, looking at him, confused. "Y-you said to g-go?"

Phil bit his lip. "Shit, Dan, I just meant leave me alone for a little. I wouldn't send you back out to the streets. Come on back in, I'll see if Abby didn't take all the food and you can just curl up and get warm, yeah?"

Dan skeptically walked back into the apartment. Phil ruffled his hair as he walked by and Dan let out a subtle purr at the contact. He hadn't been touched gently in long time. Phil motioned toward a beat up old couch in the living room.

Phil fetched one of his t-shirts and a pair of boxers for Dan. He handed them to the kitten and turned away as he changed into them. It was adorable and somewhat amusing how big Phil's clothes were on Dan, but at least it was something warm and dry.

Dan climbed onto the couch, clawing at the fabric a bit before curling up and getting comfortable.

"Why are you being nice to me?" Dan asked very very quietly.

Somehow Phil caught it. He just shrugged. "I wanna take care of you."

"And as long as you're focusing on me you don't actually have to think about what ever the heck just happened?" Dan pondered, softly.

"Honestly? Yeah," Phil admitted. He stuck something in the microwave. "Hope you like leftover pizza," he said.

Dan hadn't eaten in days, save for a few things he found that had been thrown away. He'd been living as a typical alley cat for the past few days. Day old pizza sounded like heaven.

Phil brought Dan a plate and sat beside him on the couch. Dan devoured the piece in 3 seconds. Phil's eyes widened as he looked over.

"Oh my god, when was the last time someone fed you?" Phil asked.

Dan shrugged, frowning as he thought about it. Phil walked back into the small kitchen, returning with three pieces of pizza that Dan quietly thanked him for.

Dan looked around. This was a shabby, small, apartment. It was falling apart. That's when Dan realized that the last thing Phil needed was someone to take care of. His ears went down and he looked back down at the pizza. He then noticed Phil wasn't eating anything. He pouted and offered Phil the piece of pizza remaining on his plate, despite still being quite hungry.

Phil raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you not hungry?"

"Aren't you?" Dan asked quietly.

Phil shook his head. "Nah its fine I ate—" He paused to think. "Yesterday," he offered sheepishly.

Dan furrowed his brow and handed the plate to Phil. Phil reluctantly took it, so Dan stretched out over his lap. He sighed and rubbed his head agaisnt the couch.

Phil chuckled. "You're sweet," he mumbled, scratching behind Dan's ear.

Dan moved into his touch, and Phil dragged his hand down the back of his head, stroking his hair. Dan softly began to purr, eyes drifting closed. He hadn't been touched like this in so long, soft and gentle. This wasn't the best of homes, but Dan really hoped he wouldn't be forced to leave it like every other home he'd had. He needed somewhere. Someone.

"You're gonna be okay now, kitty," Phil promised quietly, stroking Dan's hair, and gently down his sensitive neck. "You're gonna be okay."

Though the words were reassuring to Dan, he also thought maybe Phil was reassuring himself as well.

"Yeah. We are." Dan agreed, quietly.

 


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Say it's Gonna Be Alright_

Phil looked over at the neko curled up beside him, fast asleep. God, the last thing Phil needed was someone to take care of. He had no money, no food, and no girlfriend to help him out.

Abby had been supporting Phil ever since he ran away from London. He had been forced to leave London when some bad people had some beef with him. He knew it wasn't serious enough that they'd track him down, but he also knew if he ran into them he'd have some problems. So, he hopped a plane to NYC and didn't think about what would happen next. He met Abby, another runaway. She had a job at a diner nearby and they started going out. When Abby found that Phil didn't have anywhere to stay and had been improvising sleeping areas and places to shower, she invited him to stay with her.

But she must've gotten tired of Phil. He couldn't seem to find a job anywhere. He made money as a damn delivery boy for drug dealers. He was screwed without her.

Now not only did Phil have to somehow keep himself alive, he had to care for this sweet little neko.

Phil sighed at the hungry feeling in his stomach. It would pass. What about Dan? What would he find for him to eat?

Phil bit his lip and dragged his fingers down Dan's body, moving back up to play with his hair and scratch his ears.

Dan began to purr and slowly opened his eyes. He smiled ever so slightly at Phil.

"Morning kitty," Phil mumbled, brushing Dan's hair from his face.

Dan hid his face in the pillow.

"What?" Phil asked, smirking at the sight.

Dan shrugged a little. "Just not used to being treated like this I guess," he answered.

Phil's heart sank at that. This sweet little neko was so skittish and quiet. He wondered what the young thing had been through.

"How old are you?" Phil asked.

"Eighteen," he answered shakily.

"Wow, you're young, I'm glad I got you off those streets...who knows what might've happened..." Phil mumbled, mind going to dark places.

Dan looked down, eyes watering, and Phil wondered if anything he was thinking of had happened to the poor thing.

"Well you're safe now, kitten," Phil promised.

A knock on the door. "Phil Lester?" a gruff voice called through and Phil heard a door open. Landlord. Crap.

"Shit shit shit, Dan come with me, fuck," Phil rushed, pulling Dan into the closet. "Listen, that's the landlord and I'm not allowed any pets, so stay in here and don't make a sound," Phil spoke urgently, closing the closet door and locking it before Dan could say anything. Phil pocketed the key.

Dan breathed deeply trying not to panic as he was shut in the dark, confined room. He had to focus on staying quiet or he'd get himself throw out again.

_"Get in the damn cage you useless creature_ _," his_ _marketeer hissed, pushing Dan into the tiny, barless, prison. It was just a metal box of horror_ _with some air holes and a slat that would allow some light in._

_He finally managed to get Dan inside, pulling at his tail and slapping him hard in the process._

_Dan would be stuck in the small, uncomfortable, cage at least all night. He was surrounded on all sides by walls and there was no way_ _to get comfortable._ _Dan sobbed, only causing the man to kick the cage whenever he heard a sound._

The landlord walked into the bedroom, eyeing the closet. Phil had feigned a lost key to the locked closet for a long time. It was where he normally stored the drugs he dealt when stuck with them overnight or longer. Luckily, the landlord really wasn't responsible enough to have copies of every key.

"Still no key?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at Phil.

"Nope," Phil answered, shrugging.

He then decided to talk to Phil for what seemed like hours about random shit. Warning him rent would be do. Complaining about Phil's neighbors.

Finally, Phil was free of him. He sighed relieved and walked back into the bedroom, unlocking the door. "Okay he's gone, sorry about tha—" Phil stopped when he opened the door to find Dan curled up and shaking, crying quietly.

"Fuck, Dan are you okay?" Phil asked, crouching down. "You can come out now, c'mon," he mumbled softly.

Dan continued crying but quickly got out of the closet. He retreated to the corner, curling up again, tears still streaming down his cheeks. He rocked back and forth.

"Dan, hey, I'm so sorry," Phil spoke, reaching to put a hand on his knee.

Dan shook his head sobbing. His mind was stuck in his past.

"What was so bad about that, kitten? Was it the dark? The small space? Being alone? Did it trigger something for you?" Phil asked gently, "I swear I'll never put you in there again, love."

Dan just shook his head again. He couldn't talk. Not about this. His sobs got louder and he felt like he couldn't breathe. Even back in the open he felt like the walls were closing in on him. He gasped for breath, face buried in his hands.

Suddenly he felt hands wrap around his waist and he was being gently guided into a lap. His first instinct was to melt into the embrace, clutching at Phil's shirt and crying against his chest. Phil wrapped his arms around Dan, kissing his head.

"Shh, shh, it's okay, you're okay now. You're safe. You don't have to go back in there," Phil mumbled, stroking Dan's back gently.

Dan choked on another loud sob and Phil held him tightly whispering things like: "shh" and "I've got you."

"God, Dan, I am  _so_  sorry," Phil spoke when Dan's sobs had quieted a bit.

Dan still couldn't speak. He just laid on Phil's lap against Phil's chest, pretty much out of tears.

Phil hooked his arm beneath Dan's legs and carried him bridal style over to the bed, laying him down. He kissed Dan's forehead and pet his hair softly until the neko's breathing returned to normal.

"I'll go find you something to eat, yeah?" Phil offered.

Dan nodded a little, hugging onto a pillow.

Phil left to sort through cupboards in search of food.

Dan looked up when Phil entered the room holding two bowls of corn flakes. Dan was able to manage a small smile to thank Phil. He couldn't have known how Dan would react to the closet. Dan couldn't blame him for this. He was just trying to protect Dan. Phil wasn't going to hurt him. Phil was different. Hopefully.

"Th-thank you," Dan spoke softly a few bites into breakfast.

"Of course," Phil answered softly, sat beside him.

"Ph-phil?"

Phil turned his attention to Dan, silently pressing him to continue.

"Y-you won't, h-hurt me right?" Dan asked, looking down, his ears flattening.

"God, no, Dan. Never. I promise," Phil said, heart breaking a little. Dan must've been abused in his old home.

Dan mustered up a small smile. Phil leaned forward to lightly stroke his cheek.

"You're safe here. I'll never ever hurt you," Phil promised.

Dan didn't know him well enough to fully believe him, but Phil was silently begging him to. Dan nodded slightly and nuzzled into his hand.

Dan was safe here.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I've Been Waiting Up All Night_

"I've got to go, kitten." Phil sighed. "You remember what happened yesterday when that man was yelling at me. I promised I'd meet him again today," he explained. "Will you be okay here on your own?" Phil asked, though he knew there was no alternative if he wasn't.

Thankfully Dan nodded. Phil scratched him behind the ear before walking off.

"B-be careful," Dan requested, softly.

Phil smiled a little, wondering for a moment why his girlfriend had never before told him that. "Don't worry kitty I'll be back before you know it," Phil promised.

Dan watched him leave wondering how he would pass the time while he was gone.

Dan worried about Phil mostly. He knew Phil's "business" was highly dangerous. It was very quickly that Dan had grown attached to the man, probably because, as a creature dependent mainly on others in this society, Dan was extremely clingy.

Maybe Dan would clean some stuff up, do inventory, see what Phil had here. He started in the living room, cleaning up blankets and brushing away crumbs. He quickly had the very few possessions back in order. It looked pretty nice.

Dan moved on to the kitchen, sorting through cupboards that were mainly empty. He found a lot of old, molding, things, throwing them out. This basically left them with a few boxes of pasta noodles, some cereal, and a gallon of milk.

Dan figured when he was finished with Phil's room and the spare room, he'd make some pasta for Phil's return.

Dan steered clear of the closet as he cleaned up Phil's room. Just being near it made Dan's heartbeat quicken

He found a journal beneath the bed, and he knew he shouldn't, but he had to. He opened the journal. Phil didn't seem the type to keep a diary of his feelings, so Dan wasn't surprised to find it was filled with nothing but dates, locations, and street names for well known drugs.

Dan had figured out that Phil was a sort of delivery boy for drugs, but he wondered if Phil did them himself. He truly hoped not.

At the very beginning of the journal, all the places were streets in London. Phil must've been from London originally.

Dan smiled a little at the thought. Dan was originally from London. His marketer got busted for abusive care of his nekos, and took Dan and a few others to the U.S.

Dan tidied up Phil's room, before moving to the other room. The room in which Phil Lester had caught his girlfriend cheating. He left it alone, it was basically fine anyways.

So Dan went to cook the pasta, not letting his mind linger on the fact that Phil had been gone for a long time. He would be fine. Dan's rotten luck wouldn't get the best of him this time.

And Dan was extremely glad to hear the door open and Phil walk inside. He met Dan's gaze with a tired smile. Dan was half-tempted to smother him with a hug, confused as to where these feelings of fondness had come from. He was just relieved his only source of food and income hadn't died.

"Hey kitty," Phil greeted, ruffling Dan's hair.

Dan purred softly for a second before showing off his work to Phil. "I made food!" he exclaimed, smiling.

Phil couldn't help but chuckle fondly, looking over Dan's shoulder at the work. "Looks delicious," he commented. "Thank you."

Dan blushed slightly. Praise was a thing he was most certainly not accustomed to. "Glad to be useful," he answered, handing Phil a bowl.

Phil smiled gently at him. "How haven't you ended up with a rich, loving family yet?" He asked, shaking his head, scooping pasta into his mouth.

Dan blushed softly. He didn't want Phil to know just how...difficult nekos could be. Especially Dan. He didn't need to lose another home.

He sat on the floor, beside Phil, who leaned casually against the counter. Honestly Phil looked so cool with his leather jacket, piercings, tats, and that fucking smirk of his. You'd never know he was having financial problems, or relationship problems. He just seemed so collected.

Phil smiled softly down at Dan, ruffling his hair before walking off with his pasta. "Looks great in here, kitten," he praised, disappearing into his room.

Dan smiled, glad to be appreciated.

It was late that night that Dan realized Phil was nowhere near as collected as he seemed. Dan had fallen asleep on the couch. He awoke to a soft and consistent sniffling sound.

Dan hesitantly crawled off the bed, making his way toward the noise on his hands and knees. He silently pushed open Phil's already slightly ajar door to find Phil sat against his bed on the floor, crying softly.

It was strange to see him like this. He always looked so intimidating yet here he was broken down, tears streaming down his pierced face, hands clutching his tattooed arms. It felt like something that no one was ever meant to see.

Dan mewled softly, crawling forward and nudging Phil's arm with his head. He prepared himself for an angry/embarassed outburst, but Phil just cried harder, pulling Dan into his arms.

Phil's instinct was to push people away but he let Dan see him while he was vulnerable. Dan had fallen apart in front of him, so it should work this way. It was only fair. Besides, he really didn't want to be alone.

Dan purred softly, rubbing against him again. Phil ruffled Dan's hair and ears again. "Hey kitty," he mumbled, voice breaking as he continued to quietly cry.

Dan pouted and rubbed agaisnt Phil's shoulder again. He was in extra need of love and affection, so Dan had to be extra sweet and adorable.

Phil smiled fondly through his tears. He hadn't had a pet since he was a kid. Of course Dan wasn't just a pet, but he made a pretty perfect pet, and a good friend at the same time. Honestly Phil was lucky to have found him when he did.

"You're so good, kitten," he breathed.

"Do you wanna talk?" Dan asked softly.

Phil gently pet Dan's ears and hair. "I miss her."

Dan furrowed his brow. From what he'd seen of Phil's girlfriend she seemed like, well, a bitch.

"She was more than what you saw. I never would've thought that was where she ended up. She was always so sweet," he said, nostalgic, stroking down Dan's side.

Dan rubbed against Phil's hand, arching his back slightly as Phil pet.

"It was like a Florence Nightingale effect. She had to take care of me and she liked it for a while, but eventually she didn't anymore. It was never her. It was always me." Phil sighed.

Dan looked at him, eyebrows furrowing. "Phil, you loved her. And she cheated. She didn't talk to you, tell you things weren't working out, she got scared and ran to another guy. You deserve better. It's not your fault," Dan assured softly.

Phil smiled a bit and helped Dan stand. He laid down under his duvet and patted the space beside him for Dan to curl up.

"You're such a good kitten," Phil spoke, brushing aside Dan's hair, "Thank you."

Dan just purred, happy to have finally somehow helped someone other than fucking their life up.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I Could Sparkle Up Your Eye_

Days passed and Dan continued on. Soon enough things were routine. Phil would disappear for hours, leaving Dan alone and worried. Meanwhile Dan would clean up and take care of the house. One day Dan slipped on a beanie, tucking his tale into baggy jeans and went out shopping with the money Phil continued to bring home. Things worked out pretty well.

Of course Phil had the Netflix password belonging to his parents (who were back in England), a laptop, and slow but working wifi. So Dan wasn't completely bored all day.

When Phil got home, more often than not, he found his neko waiting with food. The boy would look up at him with wide eyes and perked ears as he awaited Phil's approval, which he'd always give with a smile and a hair ruffle.

When Dan awoke today, he was alone in bed. Phil must've gone out already. He yawned and then he realized something.

There was a sticky substance all over the pillow, sheets, and his underwear. Fuck fuck fuck, of course Dan had done this! God why was he so fucked up?!

Dan stared at the mess in a panic. How would he clean this up? He couldn't hide the sheets from Phil. There was no washer here. Dan ran his hands through his hair.

"Dan?" Phil's voice called from the kitchen, having heard Dan stumble out of bed. He walked over.

Dan panicked, breath quickening and hands shaking as he heard Phil approach. He looked around, tears in his eyes.

Phil walked in and saw the bed empty and a small stain on the sheet and pillow beside where Dan had been. He furrowed his brow and saw Dan sitting in the corner, shaking and staring at him with wide eyes.

"Dan?"

_"Are you fucking kidding me?! You fucking whore!" Dan's dealer screamed, foot on Dan's tail so he couldn't run. "I had to give a refund because you couldn't control yourself?!" He smacked Dan across the face with the back of his hand._

_Dan whimpered pitifully, blood dribbling out of his mouth._

_"You couldn't keep it in your fucking pants?! I ought to have you fucking neutered!"_ _the_ _man screamed, and kneed Dan in the crotch._

_Dan cried out and collapsed onto the ground, crying. People couldn't actually do that to him right?_

_"God you're so fucking worthless! I should just throw you out so I don't have to take care of your sorry ass!"_ _he_ _screamed again, kicking Dan in the stomach and causing the neko to spit up more blood._

_Dan cried, sobs only making Dan hurt more as they wracked his hurt body. He was shoved back into the small cage, muffling sobs in his tail and crying until he passed out from sheer exhaustion._

"I-I-I'm so sorry," Dan cried, "I didn't m-mean to, I was sleeping and and—" He cut himself off, voice quivering too much to speak.

Phil looked at the mess on the bed and Dan's boxers before realizing what had happened. He chuckled softly.

"Aww, did kitten have a wet dream?" he asked, chuckling.

Dan just sobbed harder. "I'm so sorry. Please d-don't get rid of me. D-don't hurt me, p-please."

Phil wasn't laughing anymore. He knelt before Dan on the floor. "Hey, hey. No one's gonna hurt you, kitten. I wouldn't get rid of you for this," he allowed himself a chuckle, "Hell, when I was your age I woke up like that every other day."

Dan smiled a little, wiping his eyes. "So you don't think I'm a gross wh-whore?"

Phil smiled, gently. "Of course not, kitten. You're just going through a lot of changes in your body. And nekos even go through that stuff late from what I know. That's all. It's normal," he assured.

Dan sniffled, realizing he wasn't in trouble.

"Now come on," Phil prompted, standing and offering and hand, "Let's clean this up, yeah?"

Dan sniffed, smiling and taking Phil's hand. Phil pulled the neko to his feet and chuckled. "First let's get you out of those. You can go take a shower and I'll get this stuff. We can head to the laundry place down the street and I'll teach you how to clean it up," Phil decided.

Dan nodded, gratefully. "Thank you," he spoke softly, walking off to the bathroom to have a shower.

-

When Dan got out, he found Phil in the bedroom. His eyes were fixed on a picture on the wall. In the picture was he and Abby, his arms wrapped around her shoulders from behind.

"Phil?" Dan asked softly, not wanting to startle him, as he was so lost to his thoughts.

Phil looked over at Dan, who wore nothing but a towel around his waist.

"Uh, can I borrow some more clothes?" Dan asked, suddenly feeling self conscious.

Phil snapped out of his haze and nodded, blushing slightly, "Right of course." He stood and walked over to the closet.

Phil always had to get Dan's things because he was afraid of the closet—and rightfully. Dan stood back and looked down as he opened the closet to fish out a sweater and pants.

When he heard the closet shut, Dan looked back up and took the clothes from Phil dressing as Phil turned away.

-

Dan was carrying Phil's bed sheets as they walked into the laundry place. A bored looking teenager behind the counter glanced their direction and smiled a little when she caught sight of Dan.

Phil went to go ask the girl to buy detergent and Dan put the sheets into a machine.

"Oh my  _god_ , he's cute," the teen spoke, staring at Dan. "Always wanted one but there's no way we could afford it." She sighed.

Phil smiled a bit, "Yeah, well Dan's mine. And I know, he is adorable," he spoke fondly, looking back over at Dan.

She smiled. "You're one lucky guy," she said, eyes still on Dan.

Phil smiled to himself. He had just stumbled upon Dan in alleyway, and now coming home to the neko was his only reason for coming home. He smiled a little. "Yeah I suppose I am."

 _There's no way we could afford it._  That's when Phil realized how expensive nekos were. He could...in theory...sell Dan off. Make some money.

"Phil?" Dan asked, shyly, "I, uh, I'm not quite sure what I'm doing." He blushed brightly.

Phil smiled and walked over to help out. He wondered just how much he could get for Dan. He was certainly adorable, sweet, he could probably get a lot.

"Hey, put your pet on a leash," a man snapped, entering the store.

Phil bit his lip, turning to the man. "Excuse me?" he asked, eyebrow raised.

"The puss," the man replied, gesturing to Dan, "Put him on a damn leash. Creatures like that need to be on leashes."

"He's no pet. He's not bothering anyone," Phil snapped in reply. He didn't know much about nekos and their rights and their issues, having been dealing with his own problems so long. But he knew Dan being seen as a lesser being when Phil knew how smart he was made Phil uneasy.

"He's a useless creature, the only thing he's good for is looking pretty on a leash. Now don't have him wandering free like this," the man growled in reply.

Phil took a deep intake of breath, and proceeded to hit the man in the face with his palm. The man cursed and stumbled backward, holding his nose.

"Maybe someone should put you on a leash. Anyways he's mine to do with as I see fit, and I won't have you treating him like shit. He's not an object," Phil snapped, anger getting the best of him.

Dan watched with wide eyes, tears gathering again. Dan was honestly such a crybaby.

Phil turned to him as the man stumbled out the door, cursing he and Dan. "Hey, kitten, you alright?"

Dan sniffed, looking down. "Uh, no one....n-no one's ever stood up for me. I just..." Dan threw himself into Phil arms, burying his face in Phil's shoulder, "Thank you..." He hesitated. "Owner?"

Phil smiled, and all of a sudden he couldn't give up Dan if he was offered thousands or more. Because Dan was  _his_.

"No problem, kitten," he promised.

Dan smiled sheepishly, "I, uh, I'm properly yours then?" he asked, "You're my owner or master or whatever?"

Phil smiled and kissed Dan on the head, "Yeah. If that's what you want. But you can just call me Phil, kitty."

And the smile Dan gave him was worth any money problems he came across in having another mouth to feed.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Can We Hit it Now, Low, Down, and Gritty?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that sexual content you've all been waiting for

Back at home— _home_. Dan had a home now. He had an owner. He smiled at the thought. Anyways, back at home, Dan made Phil's bed and let the man update his journal and make some sketchy calls. Dan wondered if it would always have to be like this, or if he and Phil could figure something else out sometime. Dan didn't quite love the idea of Phil dealing drugs.

Sometimes men would come to the door and hand Phil cases of who knows what that he stored in his closet. Phil did also get wads of cash though, so Dan didn't complain.

Today Phil was out until 5-ish. But it was only 4pm when Dan felt it. The heat curling in his abdomen. He bit his lip. Of course it would've had to happen at some point, but Dan wasn't ready.

He could still scare Phil off. Dan  _was_  a huge inconvenience. Adding a monthly hypersexual phase to the mix wouldn't help Phil's list of nonexistent reasons to keep Dan around.

Dan was still in denial when Phil returned home. But his body was on a different page. His cock was hard and he continued to find himself grinding against things.

Phil opened the door and Dan panicked. He hadn't don't anything today. Normally he'd have something for Phil to eat at the very least. But there he was, sat on the couch with a blanket around his waist- wallowing in self pity.

"Oh! Shit! I'm sorry, I lost track of time. L-let me make something!" Dan scrambled to get up.

"Hey, it's okay." Phil chuckled, putting his hands up to stop Dan's frenzy. "I'm not entirely useless, I can throw something together."

Dan frowned. "Sorry, I usually have something made up."

Phil paused a second. "Dan. You know...you know you aren't my slave right?" he asked gently. "I don't just keep you around because you cook and clean."

Dan looked up at Phil, eyes wide. "Why?" he had to ask. "I'm useless in most other ways."

Phil furrowed his brow. "Okay kitten, I'm gonna make us some dinner but after this we need to work on your self esteem." Phil chuckled walking into the kitchen.

Dan smiled a little. But he still couldn't help but think that if Phil discovered the changes occurring in his body, he'd lose everything. Dan was nothing more than an inconvenience and he only tried to make up for it by taking care of some things.

Dan whined a bit as he moved and his dick brushed against the arm of the sofa. He bit his lip, wondering if he had enough time to slip into the bathroom and get off quickly.

It was proven that he didn't when Phil returned with sandwiches. "Bon appetit." He smiled, handing Dan a plate.

Dan smiled, trying to ignore the pain in his abdomen and crotch as he ate. Phil was in a good mood. This was, in theory, a good thing, but it meant Dan wouldn't be able to slip away to get off.

Phil turned on a show, excited to show it to Dan apparently. Dan wasn't quite expecting the punk dressed drug dealer to turn on am animated nickelodeon show. He sent Phil a skeptical look to which he shrugged and played "Avatar: The Last Airbender."

"It's a good show!" he justified. "Abbs never liked it."

Dan realized then there was no way he could get out of this. Phil was lonely and he needed Dan. But Dan was so fucking hard.

He excused himself to the bathroom with a polite smile, hobbling quickly off. He shut and locked the door, breathing a sigh of relief as he pushed down the sweatpants he'd borrowed. He immediately took his desperate hard on in hand and tried to get off as quickly as possible.

He muffled moans in his shirt sleeve as he walked quickly and desperately, wanting nothing more than release.

Soon enough he was coming into the bathtub. By the time Dan had rinsed it all down the drain- he was hard again.

To satisfy him completely he needed to be fucked in someway. Back at the dealers the nekos used to fuck each other, help as well as they could. His marketer was always too cheap to buy suppressants. And as a "punishment" Dan had suffered 2 or 3 heats alone, locked away. That only made it harder to deal with them now.

Dan wanted to cry when he exited the bathroom nearly as needy as he entered it. He tried to ignore the sick feeling in his stomach and the leaking hard on in his sweats, and watch the show.

Phil glanced over at Dan a few times, and Dan tried to look engrossed in the tv show.

An episode later Dan was squirming and tears were involuntarily slipping down his cheeks. Phil looked over and immediately took notice, eyes widening.

"Dan? Are you okay?" he asked, moving closer.

Dan panicked. Phil would think he was gross, lock him away to deal with it alone. He would throw up and cry and basically feel like death for up to a week. "Please don't be mad. I'm sorry, I-I can't help it," Dan spoke, tears falling.

Phil looked him over and he dropped the blanket covering his obvious erection and wet patch in his sweats. "Oh," he realized, "D'you want me to leave you alone a while or?"

Dan cried a little harder. "'S not that easy," he spoke nervously, "I'm in heat, Phil," he sobbed, partially from the pain, partially the embarrassment.

Phil vaguely remembered the term when applied to nekos, but he'd never had to learn anything about the creatures. He certainly never expected to have one.

At Phil's blank expression, Dan explained. "It's a hypersexual week where I get physically ill without sexual contact. It's from the cat gene. I'm so sorry. Usually we take suppressants which make it easy to manage, but they're so expensive."

Phil was certainly surprised, but it wasn't as if Dan could help this gene. Before he could muster up a reply, Dan was squirming and crying again.

"Does it hurt?" Phil asked, wincing in sympathy.

Dan nodded, choking on a sob.

"Touch yourself," Phil found himself ordering. "I mean, it'll help. I don't mind. Do you need someone else to touch you? Is that why getting off on your own doesn't work?"

Dan had complied, hand going down his pants and stroking himself as soon as Phil suggested. He nodded. "Y-yeah," he gasped, "Fuck. Please," he cried.

Phil couldn't refuse the poor desperate thing. Besides  he couldn't say he'd never imagined this. Phil never ever would've thought he'd have a neko kink but, god, Dan was so adorable, and so submissive.

So Phil began to palm Dan through his clothes, Dan taking his own hand away with a gasp. "Phil! More! Please!"

"What can I do to help, kitten? What d'you need?" Phil purred.

"I need you to fuck me," Dan found himself blurting out.

Phil hesitated, but was soon brought back by Dan's desperate whimper when his hand stopped moving. "That'll make it stop, kitten?" he asked, continuing his hand movements.

Dan nodded. "Y-you don't have to. I'm so sorry," Dan cried, embarrassed.

Phil leaned forward and kissed him on the neck. "Hey, it's okay. I've got you," he spoke lowly. "C'mon let's head to the bedroom, I'll sort you out. It's alright."

Dan whimpered and allowed Phil to help him up and lead him into the bedroom. He felt guilty for making Phil do this until he noticed the hard on in Phil's jeans. It seemed he could be enjoying this.

Phil pushed Dan down onto the bed. Dan sniffled, wiping his eyes, feeling pathetic. Phil just gave him a gentle smile, which—Dan noticed once again—looked strange with his pierced lips and generally intimidating looks.

"You're okay, kitten, I'm gonna make it all better, yeah?" Phil spoke gently.

And Dan didn't care that Phil was probably only doing this out of guilt. Or maybe to fill some gap Abby left. Because he looked so hot above Dan, and Dan just wanted to be made into a sobbing, fucked out, mess by this man.

"Please," Dan sobbed, so fucking desperate.

Phil pulled Dan's sweats entirely off, tossing them aside and stroking Dan. He guided Dan's hand to his cock so that Dan would sate himself as Phil undressed and found a condom. Soon he and Dan were both naked and Phil was propped above Dan.

"Kiss me?" Dan gasped.

Phil couldn't refuse. The neko's parted lips looked so inviting. He melded his own with them and Dan whimpered.

Phil spread Dan's legs to get at his hole, scrambling for the lube he had buried in the back of the drawer for a few times with Abby.

He slipped a finger into Dan's tight hole, causing the neko to gasp. He added a second quickly, wanting to give the neko the relief he needed. He pumped them in and out, scissoring them slightly. When he crooked them just right Dan came instantly, whimpering and telling Phil not to stop. Sure enough he was hard again very quickly.

When Phil deemed Dan stretched enough he pulled his fingers out, pulling on the condom, coating himself in lube, and lining up. He leaned down to kiss Dan once again before pushing in.

Dan gasped into his mouth. "Move please, fuck me, hard, please daddy!" Dan cried, seemingly unaware of what he was saying.

Phil groaned and did just that, pulling out and pushing back in hard and fast, setting up a punishing pace. This only spurred Dan on.

"Fuck fuck fuck, daddy!" he moaned.

"That's a good kitty, taking daddy's cock so well," Phil spoke, surprising himself.

When he thrust in and brushed right against that special bundle of nerves, Dan practically screamed, arching his back and coming hard once again.

"Don't stop, please daddy," Dan breathed, cock stubbornly getting hard again.

"I won't, kitten, I'll make it all better," Phil promised, mouthing at Dan's shoulder as he fucked into the willing neko.

Dan stopped working his cock, focusing on the pleasure of Phil inside him, brushing his prostate. 

Phil grunted and bit at Dan's neck. He hadn't even touched himself since Abby left, nearly three weeks ago. This felt so good, and Dan's whimpering and moaning just got him closer. He'd never expected the neko would turn him on so much.

"M gonna come again," Dan breathed, sounding absolutely wrecked.

"That's a good boy, come for daddy, kitty," Phil groaned.

Dan did so, collapsing as the orgasm drained him of his energy. Phil continued to fuck the neko, chasing his own high. It didn't take long until he was close and Dan was coming once again, dick twitching, Dan hardly reacting except closing his eyes. Phil pulled out and stroked himself over Dan's worn out body. He came into the condom, groaning.

He stroked Dan's side gently. "You alright, kitten?" he asked gently.

Dan nodded. "Thank you, daddy," he whispered.

Phil chuckled. "No problem. You can't sleep though, you're a mess," Phil spoke.

Dan frowned but sat up, pulling a face as he felt the cum dribbling down his chest. Phil grabbed his t-shirt and cleaned Dan up a bit. He then helped Dan—who was weak and already a bit sore—to the bathroom.

He turned on the shower and held Dan against his chest as they stepped beneath it. Dan leaned against Phil, eyes closed as he washed the cum off his chest as well as the bit that had got in his tail.

He found himself pressing innocent kisses to Dan's shoulders as the neko leaned on him. Dan was basically asleep when he turned off the shower, so Phil wrapped him in a fluffy towel and carried him back to the guestroom, wrapping him in the duvet that wasn't soiled with their semen. He climbed in beside him, pressing a gentle kiss to Dan's forehead.

"Night kitten."


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I'm Not Gonna Listen to What the Past Says_

Dan woke up, sad when he didn't find Phil beside him. He then sniffed breakfast and perked up. Phil was cooking. He smiled when he remembered last night. Phil had touched him in such a way... Something was there. He and Phil had something. Dan was excited to find what it was.

He stood up, smiling brightly, not even minding the dull pain in his arse. He couldn't help but feel good. He and Phil's relationship was gonna change now. Dan was gonna mean more. Not just be a burden. Maybe be worth something.

Dan pulled on one of Phil's shirts and a pair of underwear before skipping out of the bedroom.

"Smells goo—" Dan stopped in his tracks in the kitchen. Helping Phil cook was none other than the girl who Dan had seen on his first day here. Phil's ex.

"You still have the neko!" Abby exclaimed, "Oh, he's such a cutie!"

Abby moved to pet Dan but Dan hissed and moved away. What was this chick doing? Why would Phil let her back in?

"Dan!" Phil scolded, "Be nice to Abbs."

Dan frowned, wincing slightly at the tone of Phil's voice. "Sorry," he mumbled.

Begrudgingly, he allowed Abby to run her hands over his ears and hair. Dan bit his lip. Why was she here? How was this possibly a good idea?

Finally, Abby went to to the restroom so Dan could confront the man he'd just slept with.

"Why is she here?" he asked, wishing to come off as annoyed but as usual his voice was small and hesitant.

"She showed up this morning. She was crying. Said she was sorry. Explained everything," Phil answered quietly. At Dan's look of skepticism he added gently, hand on Dan's shoulder, "She's not a bad person, Dan. I know her. Please give her a chance," he pleaded, stupid wide eyes winning Dan over.

"Okay. I...I'll give her a chance," Dan answered, excusing himself.

He walked into the guest room and couldn't help but be crushed. He wanted to mean more to Phil. Wanted to be... It was stupid for him to think so naively. Phil didn't want him. He would never.

He just let himself get his hopes up and now he was paying the consequences. Dan blamed his heat.

* * *

Things didn't immediately change too much. Abby and Phil slept in Phil's bedroom and Dan slept in the guest room. Sometimes he got afraid of the dark, sometimes he got cold and wanted Phil closer, but Dan stayed put. He never bothered the two.

Phil and Abby would go off to "work," and Dan would cook and clean like a little housemaid. They'd return home and Abby would passive aggressively make comments on Dan's food, sit between he and Phil, pet him a bit too hard.

Abby didn't like Dan; he could tell. But Dan would deal with it. The few moments he got where Phil would stroke his ears and mumble reassurances to him about the situation were worth it.

Nothing really dramatic happened, though, until Abby got home before Phil. She walked through the door and Dan smiled politely.

"Hello," he spoke quietly, "I made pasta."

"Oh great. Yet again," Abby spoke, heavily sarcastic.

"Sorry," Dan mumbled, sheepishly, "I'll try an get some different stuff next time Phil brings home cash."

"I don't get why he doesn't just sell your sorry ass," she spoke, surprising Dan. "We could make so much more than you're worth."

Dan flinched at the familiar words. Why was Abby being so mean?

"I..." Dan didn't know what to say.

"You're a stupid creature and I don't know why Phil fucking cares about you at all," she spat, then the back of her hand came into contact with Dan's cheek.

Dan whimpered, scampering backwards away.

_Then he was on the floor, his marketer's fist raised. "Stupid pet. Get up, useless thing_ _," he_ _spat, grabbing Dan's shirt in a fist and shoving him against the wall. The fist collided with his cheek and he cried out soundlessly, before he was dropped the the ground. "Christ, you're pathetic_ _," the_ _man spat._

"Please, please, don't hurt me, I'm sorry," Dan pleaded.

Abby laughed coldly. "God, and a coward at that. You're practically worthless," she spat.

_"You're supposed to make me money you little shit. You're so fucking worthless." Another punch to his face. He felt his black eye from weeks ago reassert itself. He whimpered brokenly._

Dan began sobbing, flashbacks worsening and sting on his cheek hurting. He was so scared.

The front door opened and Phil walked in. "Hey Ab—Dan!" he exclaimed, upon seeing the scene.

"Phil! Thank God! He just started crying, I...I didn't know what to do..." She sounded on the verge of tears. That bitch.

"He gets like this sometimes," Phil spoke, falling to his knees in front of Dan.

"Hey," he murmured gently, "Dan. Hey. It's okay. You're okay."

Dan shook his head, sobbing harder. "Don't hurt me! I'll be good!"

"No one's gonna hurt you. It's okay, Dan, shh."

"Sh-she hit me," Dan sobbed.

"Abby?" Phil asked, surprised, but trusting Dan wouldn't lie.

"I put my hand on his cheek and he just freaked out, I'm so sorry," she lied.

Dan cried harder, catching some of Phil explaining that certain things triggered Dan and it wasn't her fault. But she had hit Dan! Why didn't Phil believe him?!

"Dan. Dan breathe," Phil spoke.

Dan cried, but he didn't argue Phil. And Abby wouldn't hurt him with Phil around. He'd just have to stay with Phil. Before he could realize it, he was clinging to Phil desperately.

Phil held him close, "Sh, sh. I've got you," he assured.

Abby chuckled awkwardly. "Where was this when we we going out?" she joked, slightly bitter-sounding.

Phil merely sent her a look and continued to comfort Dan. "I'm sorry, Dan. But it's okay. You're safe." he murmured.

Dan gathered himself. "I thought—Sh-she.... I thought she was gonna—" Dan stammered, wiping at his tears.

"I'm so sorry, Dan, I didn't know," Abby spoke gently.

Dan's eyes widened. "Phil, she hit me!" Dan exclaimed, "D-don't you believe me?" he asked pleadingly.

Phil looked between Abby and Dan. "Dan, I know you're still getting used to her, but Abby would never hurt you. It must be your imagination," Phil decided.

Dan bit his lip. Wasn't there a red spot on his cheek for proof?! Well, he supposed his cheeks were red anyways from crying. He sighed shakily. Could he have imagined it? But it had  _hurt_.

"Phil! She hit me! She's no good! She hurt you too! Are you fucking blind?! Why'd you let her back?!" Dan cried, more angry than upset now. How could Phil not see the obvious?! Why did she have to come back into Phil's life and sweep him off his feet again, leaving Dan in the dust?!

"Dan!" Phil exclaimed, shocked by the neko's outburst, "What's the matter with you?!" Abby stared at him, shocked and seeming hurt as well. What an actor.

Dan flinched at the familiar harsh words tumbling from Phil's lips, regretting his words. Now he was just in a worse position with Phil. "I think you need to go to your room, Dan. And we  _will_ be having a conversation later."

Dan's heart sank, but he was still pissed as he walked away. He would always be wrong when it came to Abby wouldn't he? The girl had Phil wrapped around her finger.

Phil didn't come see him again, except to bring him a bowl of the pasta he'd made, not thanking him for the meal like he usually did. He just seemed tired. Dan wanted to make everything better for him, but he didn't know where to start.

He just didn't get why he'd invited Abby back into his life. Hadn't she messed him up enough already? He didn't deserve this. Why couldn't he see that she was manipulating him?

* * *

Things just got worse from then on. Abby hit him again, and again, but Phil was now sure Dan was just overreacting to a small trigger because of his past, or even faking it to get his attention or try and get Abby out of the picture. He didn't know why Phil wouldn't just believe him. Did Abby have that much of a hold on him?

Things reached their peak, however, when Abby stayed home one day and Phil went out. It begun with the usual slapping him across the face a few times. She always seemed to be careful not to leave a mark, though, so she must be worried that Dan might convince Phil to side with him, Dan noted. After this, she dragged Dan by the collar of his shirt—Dan too afraid to fight back in any manner—and shoved him into the closet in Phil's room. "I'll be damned if I have to spend anymore of my free time with your sorry ass," she snapped, slamming the door shut and locking it.

Dan's breath quickened as he tried to keep the memories from rushing back. He'd be okay. Phil would be home eventually and Abby would have to let him out. He'd be okay.

* * *

Hours passed. He wasn't okay. Dan sobbed brokenly. This was just like his old home. Dan just wanted peace. He thought Phil had saved him, but here he was again.

Maybe it was Dan's fault. Maybe he deserved all of this. Maybe this was his punishment for what he and Phil did. It was gross of Dan to think that Phil might have any sort of feelings for  _him._ A boy, and a boy  _neko_  at that. And Dan had practically forced himself on Phil.

Yes. Dan deserved this.

* * *

Abby did let him out, warning that if he told Phil what was going on she'd make next time a whole lot worse, and she'd break something and blame it on Dan. Dan didn't want Phil to be upset with him. He could deal with Abby hating him. But he'd die if Phil hated him. So Dan was quiet. When Phil asked what he got up to today, he let Abby tell Phil they watched tv together.

This was Dan's new life. It would be like this from now on. Abby hurting him or stuffing him away or putting him to work if Phil wasn't around, and Abby taking up all of Phil's time when he was around.

But Dan didn't deserve Phil's time anyways.

So this was fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oop a sad one


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _take another drag, turn me to ashes_

Dan's eyes shot open and he pulled his knees to his chest. He wasn't back at the shelter. He wasn't with his old marketer. He wasn't being hurt or shoved in a cage. He was fine.

He was alone in bed. In the dark. Suddenly Dan felt as if the walls were closing in on him. He couldn't breathe. Everything was terrible. Dan was back to being afraid of everything. He was back to being broken.

Tears streamed down Dan's cheeks as he gasped for air. He needed Phil. Phil was the only one who had ever made Dan feel safe. He needed his owner. He needed to be taken care of.

Dan crawled off through bed, arms wrapped around himself as he walked out of the guest room and into the dark living room. He stifled another sob and walked toward Phil's bedroom where he and Abby slept beside each other.

Dan hesitantly walked into the dark bedroom, sniffling. "Ph-Phil?" he asked, softly, feeling endlessly bad for waking his owner, and terribly afraid of waking Abby instead, but he needed Phil. He needed Phil's gentle words and touch. He needed to feel safe. When he received no answer, he raised his voice ever so slightly and tried again. "Phil?"

He could hear both of the sleeping figures stir and held his breath.

"Dan?" Phil's groggy voice asked.

"Ph-Phil, I..." Dan breathed, tears falling.  _Please come with me, please don't be upset, please make it better like you used to do,_ Dan begged in his mind.

"Wait, Dan? What is it?" he asked, sitting up.

"I-I-" Dan sniffled, "I need you," Dan begged. He needed  _someone._

Abby sat up as well and Dan recoiled. She murmured something Dan couldn't hear in Phil's ears and Phil sighed. "Go back to sleep, Dan," Phil mumbled, laying back down.

Dan bit back a sob. "But-"

"Now, Dan," Phil spoke with finality.

Dan took a deep breath and walked out of the room, falling to the floor and crawling against the wall. He sat there and pulled his knees to his chest, tears streaming down his cheeks. He was alone again, and it was almost worse now. When he was with the other nekos, he was hurt and punished, but at least he had the other nekos to keep him company and help pick each other up when it was too much. And when Dan was all alone on the streets, at least he wasn't being hurt. Now he was being hurt and he was alone. And worse, the one person he'd believed cared about him was tired of him now.

Dan had gotten himself into this situation. Maybe it was wrong place, wrong time, that got him into Phil's home in the first place, but he was the one who started to trust Phil, to care for him, to believe he cared for Dan.

Now, almost two months after running away, Dan had set himself up to be hurt again.

Dan fell asleep there on the ground, eventually curling himself up in a ball. It was better than returning to an empty room alone. At least Phil was on the other side of the door, even if he didn't care.

* * *

When Phil woke to find Abby curled up beside him looking gorgeous as ever, he had no memory of last night's events. But when he walked out the door to find Dan asleep beside his bedroom door, on the floor, not even on the couch, he remembered and his heart clenched. Had Dan really needed something last night? Abby had said he was just trying to get attention and frame Abby as some evil bitch yet again.

Phil shook his head, Dan was probably just trying to win his sympathy so he could ruin his relationship with Abby.

So Phil didn't say goodbye as he left to go meet with his "boss." Abby would be around to make sure Dan wasn't actually hurt or upset about something.

* * *

Dan woke up to a kick to his side. "Christ, get up you pathetic thing," Abby's voice spoke and Dan whimpered, looking up at her. He shakily got to his feet.

"Sorry," he murmured, looking down.

"Yeah, whatever, just make some breakfast would you? I've got to get to work," she spoke, pulling on a jacket and pulling her long hair out from the collar.

She was beautiful. It wasn't hard to imagine her manipulating a man into doing everything for her with her innocent looks and superficial beauty. Dan hated her. He hated her for stealing Phil away from him. For turning Phil against him.

But Dan didn't understand why Abby hated him so much. What had he ever done to her? She didn't even know that he'd slept with Phil. She had seemingly no reason to hate him as much as she did. Dan worked on making eggs as Abby did her make-up, thoughts still racing. Maybe Abby was insecure? Was she worried that Dan would take Phil's attention?

Phil had slept with Dan, so he obviously wasn't straight. Did Abby know that? Was Abby as jealous of Dan as he was of her? Maybe. Dan plated the eggs and set them on the table, shrinking away as Abby sat down. She glanced up at him and rolled her eyes.

Dan knew he was pathetic, but he couldn't help but be terrified. And he hated living in fear again.

Dan had been living in fear for an entire month again, as long as Abby had been back. He supposed he'd get used to it again. Unease swirled in his gut—at least that's what he thought it was as he walked back to his room to lay down and attempt to forget the world existed.

* * *

Dan realized halfway through the day his heat had started. He bit his lip, curling up at the headboard of his bed. What was he supposed to do now? His heat wasn't satiable on his own. His body wouldn't work like that. He was desperate to be fucked and touched and— _fuck!_ Tears gathered in his eyes. He was so tired of all this.

He was tired of being a neko. Tired of having to deal with his stupid body. Tired of going from place to place and never being treated like a living being deserving of respect. Tired of being alive.

So Dan laid on his front, allowing himself to press himself down against the mattress when the ache became too much. Every thrust was half-hearted and he just wanted it to end. Tears steadily streamed down his cheeks as he laid there for hours, ignoring his hunger and other needs in favor of just barely sating the ache in his lower stomach and his cock and balls.

He lost track of time as he eventually began desperately rutting himself against the mattress. In the back of his mind he panicked about Abby finding out, but the desperation won over and he just cried and shoved a hand down his pants.

Dan was a sweaty, desperate, sobbing mess for hours, his room filled with the stench of heat and desperation. Dan cried softly, biting the pillow as he chased relief. It seemed that it was so far away. Dan had already come a few times, but he was nowhere near satisfied.

Dan had made it through heats alone before, but now he was  _so tired_. He didn't think he could do this.

Dan must've passed out, exhausted from his body driving him to come over and over. Because the next thing he knew, there was a knocking on the door.

* * *

Phil walked into the apartment, still feeling a bit guilty about ignoring Dan last night. He felt even worse when he didn't find Dan in the kitchen with food ready like normal. He walked to Dan's room, finding the door closed and knocked.

"Dan? You alright?" he called.

Abby had told him she wouldn't be home for a few hours so he wanted to try having a civil conversation with Dan about the situation. Dan obviously didn't like Abby, but he must have a reason why. Dan was too sweet to just hate someone without reason. Phil theorized Abby must've done something to trigger Dan, maybe something small and trivial, but terrible in Dan's mind, that reminded him of his past.

"Dan?" Phil called again when he received no response.

Then Dan was throwing the door open, and he looked like a mess. His hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat, his cheeks were flushed, tear tracks were evident on his face, he wasn't wearing a shirt, and his pants were damp  around his obvious erection. Phil connected the dots quickly. Heat.

"Phil," Dan said in a sob, "Phil it's so much, can you—I need you again!"

And Dan looked so perfect, so deliciously desperate. And he was so submissive, so willing, Phil could take him and fuck him however he liked. Fuck. But—Phil hesitated—Abby. "Dan, I-I'm with Abby," he said.

"Fuck Abby!" Dan exclaimed, "Please, I know you want me too. Please, I need it so bad—"

"Dan!" Phil exclaimed.

"Please—daddy!"

" _Dan_!"

Dan shut up at Phil's tone, wincing as though Phil had hit him, and Phil felt a little bad, but at least he'd gotten Dan to calm down a little.

"I'm sorry, Dan, I can't. I'm with Abby. I'll cook food tonight, and you can take care of yourself, okay? Abby and I'll stay out of your hair."

Dan sniffled but nodded submissively, walking back into his room and closing the door.

Dan collapsed on his bed, crying softly. He was so stupid, of course Phil wouldn't help him again. He practically forced himself onto Phil, and now Phil had a girlfriend. Why would he ever fuck Dan again? Dan was just a sort of rebound, if he was anything to Phil.

Dan was too fucking tired. He closed his eyes and tried to will himself into unconsciousness, but his stubborn boner was having none of it.

Dan desperately wanked for a while, not wanting to do anything anal even if his body was begging for it. He was too tired, not to mention emotionally drained. Fuck. He just wanted to die. Everything was so shit.

Phil probably wanted him to hurt anyway. He probably knew that Dan's heat would progress to making him physically ill and was just doing this to hurt him. That's all anyone ever seemed to want: to hurt Dan.

Dan desperately wanked until he was sensitive and raw and sobbing, and all he wanted was for it to end. All he could think about was how his old owner used to lock him up during heat when he needed to be punished. Dan would be kept in a room, desperately getting himself off for hours straight with a break for rest and then again, or vomiting and crying and curling up as his stomach cramped, wanting him to be fucked.

Eventually, he passed out again into blissful unconsciousness.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _let's take jesus off the dashboard_

Dan woke up and immediately was sick onto the duvet. He winced, tears collecting at the throbbing pain in his dick and the dull ache in his stomach. He gagged, looking at the mess he made. He choked on a sob. At least Phil had gotten Abby to leave him alone instead of waking him up for breakfast.

He felt another wave of sick coming on and rushed to his feet, running to the bathroom and bending over the toilet. He gagged, puking into the toilet bowl, the limited contents of his stomach now inside of it.

Eventually he heard feet coming up to the open bathroom door. He glanced up, seeing Phil. He'd thought Phil had already left.

"Dan! Oh my god, are you alright?"

Dan let out a sob. "M'sorry," he cried, head resting on his wrist on the toilet seat.

"Fuck, Dan, it's alright," Phil promised, coming in to kneel beside Dan.

"S'my heat," Dan's speech was slurred with nausea, fatigue, and neediness, "M'sorry," he cried again, gagging again, acid burning his throat.

"Is this because I didn't help you last night?" Phil asked, eyes widening, "Your heat makes you this sick?!"

"M'sorry," Dan cried again, "I was so tired, I couldn' get myself off, I- I—" Dan cut himself off, dry gagging and whimpering.

"It's okay, it's okay," Phil promised, bringing a hand up to rub Dan's bare back. His skin was hot to the touch. "God, Dan, I didn't know this could happen," Phil spoke, sounding guilty.

Dan whimpered, reaching down to press a hand against his still persistent hard on. He didn't care anymore. He was miserable.

"Oh, kitten, is it still going on?"

Dan whimpered, tears falling, and nodded, trying not to let his heart skip too much at Phil's petname.

"Do you still want me to take care of you?" Phil asked, reaching up to push Dan's hair from his face.

"What about Abby?" Dan asked. He didn't want to pressure Phil into anything anymore. He was such an inconvenience.

Phil sighed. "She doesn't have to find out, yeah? Just let me help you, Dan. I wanna take care of you. Besides, who else is there to help you? And you're comfortable with me, aren't you?"

Dan nodded. He was miserable and he needed help. He couldn't deny it if Phil was offering it, his instincts were too strong.

"So, you want this?" Phil clarified.

"Please," Dan whimpered. He would've thrown himself at Phil then if he hadn't felt so weak.

"Can you stand for me, love?" Phil asked.

Dan nodded, and Phil helped him to his feet. Dan leaned against the wall, eyes closing. He felt Phil ruffle his hair and ears, and peeked open to see Phil dropping to his knees.

"Phil, what—"

"Shhh, I've got you," Phil promised, pulling down Dan's messy pants, revealing his poor, flushed, hard cock.

Phil stuck his tongue out, beginning to lap at the tip of Dan's cock. Dan shuddered with the sensation. He was so sensitive.

"Ahh," Dan breathed, as Phil wrapped his lips around Dan's cock, "Ahh, Phil," he whimpered, hands finding their way to Phil's hair as Phil sunk down into him. Dan's cock was smaller than the average human's, due to his neko biology, so Phil was easily able to take all of it.

Everything felt so intense, Dan was on fire. "Phil—" he whimpered, "Phil, daddy, can you fuck me again?" he begged, hands still gripping Phil's hair.

Phil pulled off Dan slowly and Dan whimpered. "Okay," Phil decided, "Okay, I-I'll take care of you. C'mon, kitten." Phil helped Dan walk back to Dan's room. Phil pulled away the soiled duvet and laid it in a heap on the floor, proceeding to lay Dan down on the bed.

This wasn't like the last time they'd done this. Phil was gentle and Dan was too tired to writhe or beg. Phil was hesitant as he touched Dan, and Dan felt terrible for seemingly pressuring Phil into this. But he couldn't bring himself to tell Phil to stop when just his cooling touch on Dan's burning skin felt so good.

That didn't stop Dan from feeling the need to whimper out a soft, "M'sorry," as he bucked his hips up.

Phil shushed him, resting his hands on Dan's thighs. "It's okay," Phil assured, "Just let me take care of you," he spoke, leaning down over Dan and kissing at his neck. "I've got you, kitten, gonna make it all better," Phil murmured.

And that sounded far too appealing. So Dan turned his head, inviting more neck kisses and whimpered a soft, "Please hurry."

Phil kissed over his neck and reached over into the bedside table for the lube he'd slid into Dan's room last night. Dan had used a lot of it, but there was enough left for them to use.

"I've got you. Promise."

Dan was reveling in the intimacy. This was the most attention he'd gotten from Phil since Abby came along.

"Missed you," Dan murmured, slightly unaware of what he was saying as Phil positioned his fingers at Dan's hole.

Phil bit his lip, feeling guilt wash over him. He was supposed to have saved Dan from his old life and be showing him how nice it could be to have a friend and live in NYC. Phil wasn't being much of a friend to Dan since Abby came back. He'd have to make some more time for him. He just needed to make up for lost time with Abby.

"I'm here now," Phil promised, kissing Dan's tummy and pushing his fingers past his loose hole.

Dan whimpered half heartedly, and Phil could tell just how exhausted he was. He kissed his thigh, stretching Dan out a bit more than he already was with his fingers. "You're okay," Phil found himself breathing out, wanting to,  _needing_  to, reassure Dan, "I've got you. Gonna make it all better, promise."

He slipped his fingers out of Dan, causing the neko to practically sob. Phil scrambled to push down his pants. "Gonna fuck you, yeah? That's what you want?"

Dan nodded, "Please, please, please," he begged.

"Just a second, Dan, shhh." He rifles through the bedside drawer for a spare condom, glad to find one.

Phil pulled on the condom and covered his very hard cock in lube. He couldn't deny that watching Dan like this, desperate, begging, sweaty and panting with the need of it, was the main cause. Though it was partially due to the adrenaline of it, wanting so desperately to help Dan, satisfy his need, make him all okay again.

He lined up at Dan's stretched out hole, glancing up at the neko's face, seeing pure desperation, and pushed into Dan, reveling in the feeling of Dan's tight heat. He had to admit, Dan felt amazing. Maybe something about neko biology made them feel better than the average human male.

He hiked Dan's legs up, around his waist, burying himself deeper in the neko. Dan cried out, arms wrapping around Phil's neck. Phil buried his face in Dan's neck, breathing in the stench of sweat and sex, kissing over the damp skin, tasting salt, leaving light marks. That would fade while they laid in the afterglow. He thrust in and out of Dan.

Dan didn't take long to cum, but he continued begging for Phil to go harder, deeper, as his nails scratched at Phil's back. Phil bit his lip, thrusting deeper, holding Dan's legs and muffling his own moans. He had to hold out for a while, to completely satisfy Dan's heat.

"Phil," Dan moaned, nails digging into his back. "Feels so good, daddy," Dan rambled, drunk on the pleasure and the neko pheromones.

"Fuck, kitten, you're so good," Phil groaned, grinding inside of Dan. He was right against Dan's prostate, if Dan's high pitched squeals of pleasure were anything to go by.

"Daddy, gonna cum again, oh, please please please," he rambled deliriously.

"Good kitten, so good, cum again for daddy," Phil found himself breathing out.

Dan did so, whimpering. He felt so overstimulated and so sensitive, but heat still curled in his stomach, nausea still somewhat present. So Phil continued to fuck him, holding off his own orgasm until Dan was entirely sated.

After a few more orgasms, Dan completely passed out. Phil pulled out, sighing, and jerked himself off, biting his lip and holding the picture of Dan, desperate and whimpering, at the front of his mind. He didn't take long at all to come, breathing heavy. He took a moment to catch his breath, then pulled his boxers back on.

The room was a mess, the sheets damp and stained, the air almost humid from the heat of their activities. Dan was passed out in his own mess. The poor thing was so tired.

Phil decided to cancel his plans of meeting up with his dealer today. He could just say he saw the cops hanging around or something. It wasn't as if Phil's line of work had a strict schedule. Abby wouldn't be home for a long while. Phil was going to take care of Dan.

He left Dan in his mess to go run a bath in their small tub. He returned shortly with a bubble bath ready. He kissed Dan on the forehead, feeling the need to be overly affectionate, to make up for dismissing Dan these last few weeks, and especially yesterday with his heat. "Dan," he murmured, "Let's get you cleaned up, cmon."

Dan groaned, eyes opening for a moment, then closing them upon being attacked by light. "Mmmm," Dan groaned, "Carry meee," he whined, lifting his arms.

Phil chuckled, but complied, lifting the light neko into his arms. Dan snuggled against his chest and Phil smiled, carrying him off to the bathroom.

Phil carefully set Dan down into the water, Dan sighing in content as his sore muscles relaxed in the bath.

Dan laid back, smile creeping onto his lips as Phil's hands moved over him with a wet soapy cloth, cautious, as if he could hurt Dan somehow. Dan soaked up the attention, feeling himself start to purr. For once in a while, it was in content rather than because of nerves. "Thank you," he murmured. For everything. He mentally added. Phil had just cheated on his girlfriend for Dan, to make sure Dan would be okay, and now he'd stuck around to help Dan pick himself up when he could've left.

"Of course, Dan," Phil replied, seeming surprised by Dan's gratitude.

Phil squirted shampoo onto his palm, tilting Dan's head back and washing his ears and hair. Dan purred louder, unable to contain himself at the sensation. He hadn't been touched so gently in, well, ever.

Phil smiled as Dan purred, moving onto his tail and cleaning it as well. Dan's purring remained consistent throughout the entire bath and as Phil helped him out, wrapping the neko in a fluffy towel.

"We'll have to clean up your room before you can sleep in there again, is the couch okay?" Phil asked, wishing he could offer more.

Dan nodded, just glad Phil was taking care of him again. He leaned into Phil and sighed contently. Phil wrapped his arms around Dan.

"You know you can't mention this to Abby, yeah?" Phil finally spoke, sounding apologetic.

Dan nodded. Of course. This was only a one time thing. Again. "I know," Dan replied, unable to keep the sadness from his voice.

"Please don't hate her," Phil requested, "She's not a bad person, Dan."

Dan almost laughed bitterly, but he held himself back. He didn't want to ruin his time with Phil.

"Let's just watch something. Can we?" Dan asked, eyes wide. He wanted to soak up any and all attention that Phil would give him, because who knows how long it would last. As soon as Abby got back, Dan might go ages without Phil again.

Phil smiled and led Dan to the couch, picking up where they left off months ago with The Last Airbender.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _ready for another lie?_

Abby laid against Phil's chest, and Phil ran his fingers over her arm gently.

Everything with Dan had happened a few days ago, but Phil had been making an effort to be a better friend to Dan. Abby had been continually pulling him away, however. But Phil didn't mind, she just wanted to make up for lost time, and so did Phil.

"Phil?" Abby asked softly, sounding nervous.

Phil hummed in reply, looking down at Abby's frown.

"Uh, I've been feeling kinda weird lately. Like itchy and finding it hard to breath..." Abby spoke.

Phil frowned, pushing the hair from her face and feeling her forehead. "Do you think you're getting sick?" he asked softly.

Abby sighed. "I...I think I'm allergic to cats," she admitted.

Phil was silent for a moment, processing that. "Oh." He bit his lip. Dan. "Are you sure? I haven't really noticed anything different."

"Yeah...I'm pretty sure. God, Phil I'm sorry, but I think...I think we need to get rid of Dan," she spoke, eyes wide and looking upset.

Phil swallowed, considering what would happen if they did such a thing. "W-well what would I do with him? I found him lost and alone on the streets," Phil spoke, sitting up, "Can't we get you medication or something?"

Abby pulled out of his arms. "With what money? Can't you just take him back where you found him?" she asked, frowning.

"Abbs, I...I can't, he...he was all alone. He needs someone to take care of him," Phil spoke.

"But I can hardly stand to be around him! I waited to tell you but it's been driving me crazy!" Abby exclaimed.

"Really? Because I never noticed anything—"

"Well you should've been paying more attention to your actual girlfriend than to the neko slut you so valiantly rescued and fucked!" Abby cried.

"How did you—"

"Oh, please, it's so fucking obvious the stupid creature's obsessed with you!" Abby screamed, "And I thought he was just a fucking rebound but I'm back and you're still choosing him over me!"

"It's not like that. I love you, but I can't let Dan just fend for himself out there, he could get hurt or fucking raped. Shit like that happens to nekos all the time. He wouldn't survive, Abbs," Phil practically begged.

Abby sighed exasperated. "Well, it's either him or me," she spoke with finality, walking out of the room. She glanced at Dan who had been listening in, and was practically shaking with fear. She scoffed, slamming the apartment door behind her as she left.

Phil watched her go, eyes wide and throat closed up. All this was because of Dan. Without Dan, he and Abby would be able to be happy together. Why'd this crap have to happen to him? He loved Abby, shouldn't that be enough?

"Th-thanks for standing up f-for m-me," Dan murmured shakily, staring up at Phil.

"Fuck off, Dan," Phil snapped, slamming the door to his room.

Dan winced, tears gathering in his eyes. Why'd he always have to mess everything up? Everything was always his fault. Dan sniffled, crawling onto the couch and curling up, tail wrapped around himself. He silently cried, ears flat against his head.

Dan stayed like that until he eventually drifted off, tears staining his cheeks and breathing finally steadying.

* * *

Dan woke up with a start, looking around, unable to see anything in the darkness. His breathing sped up immediately as he awaited the inevitable attack from an abuser. Be it his old marketer, Abby, anyone. He was terrified, tensed up, breathing quickly, and letting out short sobs.

He couldn't breathe. Fuck, he  _couldn't breathe_. Dan clawed at his knees, bringing them up to his chest as he tried desperately to reach air. He didn't want to be hurt. He didn't want to be yelled at, or thrown out.  _I'm sorry,_ he thought desperately _, please don't hurt me I'm sorry._

He heard something move in the dark, and gasped in a breath. Dan squeaked, pressing back into the couch, hoping it would swallow him whole. He wanted to cry out, beg whatever it was in the darkness not to hurt him, but he was unable to make a sound with his breath caught in his throat.

Dan was unaware how loud his sobbing and desperate gasps for breath were, until a hand landed on his knee and he flinched so hard he nearly fell off the sofa.

"P-p-p—" Dan stuttered, entire body shuddering.  _Please, please don't hurt me, I'm sorry._

"Dan? Dan hey, it's me, it's just me, shhh, Dan," Phil murmured, sitting beside Dan on the couch.

Dan sobbed, shaking violently. It was Phil, it was just Phil. It was okay. What if Phil hurt him? Would Phil ever do that? He'd promised he wouldn't!

Phil bit his lip as he watched Dan shake and cry. Fuck, how could he make this better? He shouldn't have left Dan alone after his fight with Abby. Dan was probably terrified that Phil was going to throw him out onto the streets.

"Dan, it's okay, it's alright, just breathe," Phil murmured, cautiously setting his hands atop Dan's shaking ones.

Dan flipped his hands over and gripped Phil's tightly, causing Phil's hands and arms to shake from Dan's own vigorous shaking.

"Oh God, Dan it's okay, you're okay, please breathe for me. You can do it, just breathe," Phil begged, realizing how bad this was. It was worse than that time with the closet, and Phil was on the verge of panic himself. Did Dan think he was going to be hurt?

Dan gripped his hands tighter, and he took a shaky breath in.

"That's it," Phil sighed, glad his words were getting through, "Go on. Again," Phil instructed, stroking his thumb gently over Dan's knuckles.

Dan took in another shaky breath, breathing out slightly slower this time.

"Good, that's it," Phil praised.

They continued on like this until Dan was breathing semi-normally. Phil squeezed Dan's hand. "There, you did so well," Phil promised, "You're safe," he breathed, "No one's gonna hurt you. I promise."

Dan sniffled. "Y-you w-won't l-l-leave me, y-you won't m-make me g-go back out th-there r-r-right?" Dan asked, voice as shaky as his body.

Phil sighed, "No, kitten, there's no way. You're mine now, yeah?"

Dan sighed in relief and pulled his hands away only to throw himself into Phil's arms. He sobbed into Phil's chest, and Phil wrapped his arms around the neko.

"Shh, it's okay," Phil promised, rubbing Dan's back, "I'm not getting rid of you, I promise. I wouldn't. You mean too much okay? Abby's asking something I can't do. And if she...if she can't see that then...." Phil sighed, trailing off.

Dan sniffled. "Thank you," he whimpered. He'd never meant anything to anyone.

Phil sighed. "Of course, Dan," he promised. "C'mon, will you feel safer sleeping with me?"

Dan sniffled, clinging to Phil. "Mhm," he breathed.

Phil looked down at the sweet neko. He was so gentle and innocent, Phil hated that he'd been hurt so much.

Phil guided Dan's legs around his waist and lifted the neko into his arms. His light weight reminded Phil that he'd been relying on Dan to cook for the past month. He needed to make sure that Dan was eating as well.

Phil laid Dan down in Phil's bed and crawled in beside him. "I'm sorry for scaring you," Phil breathed, "I'll keep you safe from now on, yeah? I promise."

Dan sniffled in the silence. They laid beside each other, Dan trying to swallow the emotion in his throat as he mulled over the idea of telling Phil the truth.

"Phil?" Dan finally asked shakily, "I...I know you love Abby but she...she's been h-hurting me for a long time." Dan choked on a sob. "Sh-she hits me, and locks me up, and I-I'm sorry, I tried to be good, but she just—and now she w-wants me g-gone. Please don't hate me. I promise I'm not lying. It's been going on for so long and-and—I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Dan rambled, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Phil stopped, letting himself think. That wasn't so far-fetched. Abby apparently knew about his and Dan's night together before Abby came back, she would've been jealous. And Dan acted so scared around Abby. Besides, what good would it do Dan to lie right now, Abby was virtually out of the picture.

"Oh my god," Phil murmured in realization. "Dan, why didn't you tell me? Abby's been... I can't believe she would do that. Oh god, oh god, Dan. You poor thing, holy shit. You've been dealing with that for the past few months and you couldn't get me to listen. Oh my god, Dan," Phil rambled, pulling Dan against his chest. "I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry," Phil breathed, petting Dan's hair. "I should've been paying more attention. Oh, Dan, I'm never letting her near you again. You don't deserve this."

Dan choked on a sob, clinging to Phil. "You r-really believe me?" Dan asked, burying his face in Phil's chest.

Phil bit his lip. He hadn't believed Dan this entire time. "I believe you," he breathed. Dan sounded so pitiful. So broken. That was not something that could be acted.

"I'm sorry, Dan, I'm so sorry," Phil breathed out shakily. All he'd wanted to do when he found that soaked, shaking, neko in the alleyway alone was save him. But there he was, having practically made Dan's life worse. He'd blamed Dan for his girlfriend abusing him, and he'd ignored his cries for help.

"S'okay," Dan whispered.

Phil almost laughed. "It's not, Dan. But it will be. I promise."

"Thank you," Dan breathed, and Phil tightened his arms around him.

"We'll figure this out. Things'll work themselves out. I promise."

Dan sniffled, holding Phil just as tight. "Okay."


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _you're no good for me_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i like never update this lmao how do u guys put up with me
> 
> i love this fic but it takes a very specific writing mood for me to want to write it lol

Dan was shaking, despite Phil's reassurance. He was terrified. Once Phil told Abby that he wasn't going to kick Dan out, Abby would be mad. She would yell. She'd scream. She'd probably seek out Dan to hurt him as punishment for causing this. She might even hurt Phil!

But Phil told Dan to lock himself in his bedroom, and stay there until Abby left so Abby wouldn't be able to get to him. He'd be safe. Abby couldn't get him behind this locked door. Still, when he heard a knock on the door, Dan's heart sped up immensely.

Phil opened the door and Abby walked in. She was dressed in a new set of clothes from yesterday and wearing make up—leaving Phil to wonder where she had stayed the night.

"I assume you've come to your senses," she spoke, looking around the flat. "Did you get rid of it?"

"Him," Phil corrected, "And no. I didn't. And...I'm not going to, Abs. I can't."

Abby's face scrunched up in anger. "What do you mean? You're choosing some stray slut over me?!"

Phil sighed, beginning to see the women who cheated on him and abused Dan, rather than the picture perfect girlfriend that Phil had always tried to see. "Abby, Dan told me that you...that you've been hurting him and I just—I can't let you—"

"What? You're going to believe that thing? I'm your girlfriend Phil! You're supposed to love me!" Abby shouted, tears gathering in her eyes.

"It would make sense, he's fucking terrified of you!" Phil exclaimed, quickly getting fed up with her. Not only had she been hurting Dan, she'd manipulated Phil into believing Dan was the bad guy in multiple occasions. She couldn't dig herself out of this.

Abby burst into tears. "I can't believe you believe some neko you hardly know over me! You were supposed to love me! I took care of you, and made sure you had money, and loved you, and Dan comes in and you're obsessed with him! What about me?! Don't you love me anymore, Phil?" she asked, lip wobbling, tears streaming down her face.

Phil took a deep breath to keep his cool, trying not to let her words affect him.  _She's manipulating you,_  he told himself. "Abby, it's just, you can't ask me to throw Dan to the streets. I don't have that in me."

"You're a terrible boyfriend!" she exclaimed, "You always were! You never did anything for me, I was always doing everything for you, and now you're going to ruin everything we have over some stray?!" Abby cried.

Phil would normally fight back, but her words were getting to him. He really had been a horribly boyfriend hadn't he? Was he doing the right thing? Should Abby be his top priority? He loved her didn't he?

In the tense silence, Phil heard a soft whimper from Dan's bedroom and remembered why he was doing this. Dan didn't deserve any of this. None of this was Dan's fault, and he had to protect the poor boy.

"Please go, Abby," Phil finally spoke, "And don't come back. We can't do this anymore."

"Are you seriously breaking up with me because of him?! What the fuck, Phil! When we met you were actually a cool guy, and now you're nothing!" Abby screamed. She brought a hand across Phil's cheek and Phil stumbled back in surprise.

"Phil!" Dan exclaimed, from the doorway of his room.

"Dan stay put," he spoke.

"But Phil—"

"Dan, I'm okay, lock the door."

"So we have an audience for this!" Abby exclaimed, "You fucking worthless piece of shit!" she screamed, storming towards Dan. Dan froze, terrified.

Phil grabbed her arm. "Go. Abby. Just fucking go." He pulled her back, a silent reminder that Phil could easily overpower her and remove her from his flat by force.

She scoffed. "I don't fucking care," she decided, storming away, "I don't need you fucking fags in my life. I bet you were never even into me. Your gay ass just likes to fuck helpless strays who you know will do anything for you," she snapped, walking out of the apartment.

Phil bit his lip at that blow. "You need help, Abby," was all he said before slamming and locking the door.

He sighed, collapsing against the door and falling to the ground, pulling his knees to his chest. He breathed out shakily, trying to process whatever the hell just happened.

Phrases stuck to the front of his mind, repeating themselves in his thoughts.

_You're a terrible boyfriend. You always were._

_Now you're nothing._

_Your gay ass just likes to fuck helpless strays who you know will do anything for you._

_Fags_.

Phil let out a sob. Fuck. Was he so fucked up? She was right, she was fucking right. Fuck.

"Ph-Phil?" Dan asked, shakily.

Phil swallowed, wiping his eyes. "Uh, are you okay?" he asked, looking up.

Dan nodded. "I will be," he assured. "W-will you?"

Phil tried at a smile but he knew it came out as more of a grimace. "Don't worry. Just, how about you start on lunch or something? I just need a few minutes to, uh, to think."

Dan nodded. "Okay," he agreed, quietly.

Phil locked himself in his room, crying quietly into his pillow. Abby had been his life since moving here, and now, because of Dan she was gone. Dan showed up, he and Phil fucked, that's what made Abby jealous. That's what made her angry. That's what made her start being like this. It was all Dan's fault.

Phil shook his head. He couldn't think like that. Dan was a victim. He was a victim of living in a society that deemed nekos as lesser beings, a victim of abuse, a victim of Phil's shitty life, and of Abby's shittiness. Dan didn't want this. Dan just wanted to finally feel safe. And he might finally be able to now.

Phil couldn't fuck this up. Phil couldn't hurt Dan too. Had Phil just been taking advantage of Dan this whole time? Fuck, Dan deserved so much better.

Phil felt like he was on a rollercoaster with the sudden twists and turns of his thoughts and emotions. He needed to stay away from Dan, at least until he figured all this out. Dan deserved so much better.

Phil's mind played over the fight again. He could still feel the sting on his cheek. Fuck, how many times had Dan felt the same sting?

Abby hadn't been like this before. Phil drove her to this. He was too hard to take care of. He was too bad a boyfriend. He didn't give enough. It was all his fault that she hurt him and Dan.

Maybe he could've fixed it. Should he have tried to fix it? Maybe if he'd done what she said she would've been the same Abby again. Maybe they would be happy again.

But he could never do that to Dan.

" _Fuck_!"

He felt so confused and he just wanted to feel okay again. He wanted things to get better. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to have a whole new life. He wanted to disappear. Fuck, he wanted to die.

* * *

Dan finally gave up knocking on Phil's door, and decided to put his lunch in the fridge. He was still shaky and freaked out from earlier. But Abby was gone. She wouldn't hurt him again. Though, to be sure, Dan made sure the door was locked, as well as the window by the fire escape. He never wanted to see her again. He just wanted to finally be happy. Or at least safe.

Could Dan even be happy? Was Dan too messed up to really be happy now? Would he and Phil ever recover from this and be able to be friends again? Would Dan have to start over again? Dan didn't want to leave Phil. Phil was the only one who never hurt him. Never intentionally, at least.

Dan wanted a hug.

* * *

Phil had been avoiding Dan and Dan wanted to cry. He was thankful that Phil had backed him up, but when he tried to thank Phil he was simply shrugged off.

He'd messed everything up again. Dan was a curse to have around. He made Abby get upset and he made her hurt Phil and he made them break up. Of course Phil wouldn't want to be around him.

Dan should leave. He should leave. He'd fucked this situation up enough, Phil didn't want him around. He should go.

The straw that broke the camels back on Dan's decision about running away, was Phil getting hammered one night and yelling.

"Abby was just fine before you!" he cried, "She loved me! And then you came!"

Dan stared at his feet, tears in his eyes as a blind-drunk Phil shouted thoughtlessly.

"I'm sorry," Dan murmured, pathetically.

"It's not your fault! That's just fucking it! You didn't do anything but you showed up and everything got weird and confusing and I'm sorry! I don't know, I don't—I don't know. I'm just fucking—I'm fucking tired," Phil finally decided, collapsing on the couch.

When Phil was finally passed out, Dan pulled on a pair of loose jeans and a beanie, creeping out of the flat. He'd go back to his old alley. It was beside a restaurant so he tended to get leftovers. He'd figure something out. Or die. Either way, Dan couldn't think of a better solution. He was tired of everything. He didn't deserve happiness, the universe had made that much clear.

So, Dan ventured out into the cold.

* * *

When Phil woke up, with a splitting headache to remind him of his night's mistakes, he was startled not to find Dan anywhere. His room was empty, a pile of clothes gone. Fuck. Fuck, Dan had run away. Was he planning on coming back? Where did he have to go? Was he back on the streets?! Damnit, this is what Phil had been trying to avoid this entire time.

Phil spent the day shouting Dan's name through the neighborhood, and trying not to cry. He drove Dan away. He ruined everything. Dan had been nothing but sweet, tried only to help, and Phil had thrown Abby at him, made him feel unwanted, taken advantage of his vulnerability. Phil just needed to find him and apologize.

When Phil returned home fruitless, he was so pissed at himself. He paced the flat, trying to calm himself down, trying to convince himself that Dan would be back soon. Eventually his fist met the plaster again and again and he didn't fall asleep until his knuckles were bruised and bloody.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _but baby i want you, want you_

 

Dan sulked down the hallway to the flat, unsure how he would explain himself to Phil. Phil would think him pathetic to have come back so quickly, surely. Dan hadn't been thinking when he left. He only made it one day. He just really didn't want to be on his own again, every noise terrified him, every stranger on the street that passed shot terror through him. Dan needed Phil. He couldn't find the will to even try without Phil. If he somehow got Phil to care about him again, maybe they could be happy. Maybe Dan could finally be happy.

So, he knocked on the door and it opened within a minute, revealing a surprised Phil with messy hair and wide eyes. Dan looked at him with wide eyes of his own.

Phil threw his arms around Dan, surprising Dan so much that he stumbled backward. Phil didn't let go and Dan found himself hugging Phil back just as tightly, burying his face in Phil's shoulder.

They both had so much too say, but they each elected to just hug each other tightly and sniffle, tears escaping each of their eyes.

"Please don't..." Phil stuttered out, after a moment. "Please don't do that again. I...I'm sorry for being so terrible, but please stay. Please don't go out and get hurt again."

Dan laughed coldly. "I deserve it."

Phil pulled back to look Dan in the face with tears in his own eyes. "Dan, you don't. No one does, but you especially don't. Anyone who's ever made you feel like you do is an asshole. Including Abby and I."

Dan sniffled, hugging Phil again. They hugged tightly again for a long while.

"I'm sorry I left," Dan eventually breathed out. "I was stupid, and scared, and being impulsive. I could never make it out there all alone."

"It's a scary world Dan, but I'll never let you face it alone, okay?" Phil asked.

Dan nodded, sniffling. They hugged yet again before finally leaving the doorway. Dan went to take a shower and pull on clean clothes, and Phil immediately when to the kitchen to scrounge up some food for Dan.

Dan walked into the kitchen and took the plate of food without looking at Phil. He walked into his room to eat, and Phil watched him walk off, biting his lip. Was Dan upset with him? He certainly had many reasons to be, but they'd just had a sort of make-up hadn't they? Phil supposed it wasn't always that easy.

* * *

As the days went by, Phil couldn't dote on Dan like he wanted to, having to return to his drug ties to make some cash. He worried all day while he was out that Dan might run away again. Phil had messed up and scared him and made him feel unwanted. Phil had probably taken advantage of him multiple times. Dan had every reason to be upset with him, and to want to leave. Phil just knew he wasn't going to last on the streets, and that with his current options, Phil was his best bet at survival.

Dan continued to avoid Phil. He wasn't mad at Phil, how could he be? How could he ever be? Phil was the one person who had shown Dan kindness. He was just scared. Scared of Phil realizing again that he was the reason Phil's life had been messed up. Scared of Phil making him feel weird things and making him remember what his touch felt like and how his lips tasted. Dan just wanted to survive. He couldn't end up falling for Phil or things would get complicated. He just needed to stay away for a while. At least until his feelings calmed down. So he ate alone in his room, and barely exchanged words with Phil. 

Phil felt guilty every time Dan left to eat alone. He must have really messed up to get Dan this scared of him. If Dan hated him now, what would he do? What if Dan didn't want to live with Phil anymore? God, the poor thing would be much better off somewhere else. Some rich family who would pamper him and keep him safe. Of course, that would come with its own issues. Dan being treated as just a little show cat, or being made to do chores like a butler, or even having to give sexual favors to stick around. There was really no perfect solution to Dan's problems. If Phil did find a rich family who could take him in, it would feel like he was treating Dan as a pet, and he would have no way to know how the family might treat Dan without Phil around. As much as Phil hated himself right now, he trusted himself to make sure Dan wasn't hurt more than some stranger who wanted a pretty neko to keep.

Phil just wished he was a good enough person, not a deadbeat drug-dealer who was still caught up in his ex. He wished he had the money to take care of Dan properly. He wish he was a good enough person to make Dan feel safe and cared for.

Phil found himself crying in his bedroom, sitting against the bed. He didn't know who he was anymore. Before, he'd been fine being a drug-dealer who never tasted the merchandise and had dreams of figuring out a new path for himself, maybe something creative. Now, he wished he had anything that paid well and kept him off the streets. And he didn't know if he was even an okay person anymore.

His girlfriend left him and he immediately found a rebound in the neko he'd promised to take care of. Sure, Dan had wanted it, but his heat could probably make him say that to anyone. Phil had taken advantage of him when he was at his most vulnerable. And then Abby had come back, and he'd been so  _blind_ to her hurting Dan. And he'd cheated on her with Dan. All he'd done was hurt Abby which in turn hurt Dan, and he was so fucking confused.

He didn't want to hurt Dan anymore.

He didn't hear the door open, but he heard the footsteps when they got close to him. He hesitantly looked up to see Dan, looking torn, and kneeling down beside Phil. Phil sniffled, burying his face in his knees again.

Dan hesitated, before moving closer. He gently moved his head against Phil's knees, rubbing softly against them as he purred quietly. Phil glanced up, meeting Dan's wide eyes and let out a broken sob. He hesitantly reached out for Dan, slowly moving his hand to Dan's head and ears, petting softly, and so fucking gently. He can't hurt Dan. He can't.

"I'm so sorry," Phil cried quietly. "Dan, I'm so sorry. I..." He sniffled. "I don't even know who--who I am anymore," he sobbed.

"Phil," Dan murmured, curling up beside Phil who let his knees fall. "You're my owner. You take care of me, and I take care of you." He leaned his head against Phil's shoulder.

"You deserve a better home," Phil cried, laying a hand hesitantly on Dan's knee. "You're so damn sweet and amazing and you deserve to live with someone nice who will spoil you and take care of you, and make you feel safe."

Dan frowned. "But I want to stay here," he spoke.

"But I'm terrible Dan. I hurt Abby, and I hurt you, how can you possibly want to be around me?" Phil asked, brokenly.

Dan sighed. "Listen to me, Phil. You've been abused."

Phil frowned. "No, I, but you're the one who--"

"I was too, I know that, believe me," Dan replied, "But so have you. Not physically, at least not a lot, but I heard what Abby was saying when she was yelling at you. She knew just which strings to pull to hurt you, or to make you feel guilty, and she was so controlling from what I saw of you guys. There's not just physical abuse. There's emotional abuse. From what I heard of her, she seemed to be abusing you too. She guilt-tripped you, lied to you, played victim, bullied you, tried to change you, controll yours and my relationship...Phil, that's all abuse."

Phil bit his lip. He still didn't want to accept the fact that the girl he loved had been abusive towards Dan, but the idea that she could've been abusive to him was terrifying. But she had done all those things to him, far before he even met Dan. She'd make him feel guilty if he didn't do what she wanted, she'd make him feel inferior, like a bad boyfriend, had Phil constantly trying to prove himself. She always reminded him that she was basically holding him over financially. She made him feel like he was a chore to be around. She made him feel like he needed to do whatever she wanted to make it up to her. She didn't like him hanging around with anyone, constantly saying she didn't feel comfortable that he was bisexual and therefore attracted to everyone, and, in her words, 'more likely to cheat.' Come to think of it, she made Phil feel  _terrible_ half the time. But Phil kept forgetting all that when she was nice and they laughed and had fun. She made it seem like the bad times never even happened. She made it seem like Phil's insecurities where all in his head.

"Oh..." Phil murmured. "Oh my god," he realized, running his hands through his hair. "Since...since we moved in together she's been....Oh my god..."

Dan gently took one of Phil's hands from his hair and held it. "She's gone now," he promised. "And none of it was your fault, Phil. You're not a bad person, she was. She wanted to make you feel like you were."

Phil breathed out slowly. "Fuck," he murmured. "It's so hard to...she made me feel like I was never...fuck," he breathed out, tears now streaming silently down his cheeks.

"I know," Dan promised softly, sitting up beside Phil and guiding his head to Dan's chest, holding him there as he sniffled and cried. "I know," he repeated softly.

"So, I guess we're both fucked up victims, hm?" Phil asked, sniffling.

"No," Dan murmured, tail wrapping around them both, stroking Phil's back. "We're survivors."

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on [tumblr](http://midnightskydan.tumblr.com/)


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